It’s become this thing with my family (I have two nephews
and two nieces) now that their children are getting older this underlying mild
hysteria We don’t want our children
turning out like Gretchen.
My family doesn’t see me as an interesting, good person, a
talented person. They see me as the
broke fuck-up. The one that didn’t happen.
And now that the kids are teenagers, their grandparents, my
parents, are in full-swing angst trying to recall about the days I went to
college and what went wrong there. And
their parents, my siblings and their mates, equally are in the mode, if Gretchen went right, we must send our
kids left.
I sound like a complete narcissist. Like really could my life really have
that much effect on your kids, who I may see, if I’m lucky, once a year?
I’m sure the answer is no when the kids succeed, but catch ‘em
questioning life, dabbling here or there, and its sure to be my fault or worse yet "just like Gretchen." It already is.
That said, as you might imagine, sadly I am not investing
too much time in getting to know my younger relatives.
I’d rather be around people who think I am OK at the very
least, and who actually think I am quite wonderful and worth knowing, on most days.
But that brings me to my point…
Do you ever just think about revenge? I do.
Certainly not hurting somebody or somebody else being
hurt. But just my own sweet sublime
success and a special wink to everyone who called me crazy.
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