December 20, 2012

I thought I’d weigh in on 12/21/12.

I’ve been looking for a new apartment for the last month. I have to be out of mine on January 1. I have literally seen nothing that would work. In fact, every lead I’ve followed has been weirdness or total fabrication or just plain fraud.

It was about two weeks into my apartment search that I realized the synchronicity of the timing. Oh great, I thought, it’s all over and I’m going to be homeless. What was I thinking?

Today, as I watched some doomsday 12/21 prophecies on a science channel, my attitude shifted.

Maybe the powers that be don’t want me to waste my money on a down payment before the shift. ??

Maybe I have to shift before I’ll be ready for my new apartment. ??

Maybe the whole time period will pass like...nothing.

??

Today

Taking the afternoon off. Much needed. Sometimes things line up, sometimes they don’t. Sometimes all you can say is, “Why?” And according to many different theological beliefs, there is a reason and it’s a very good reason too, even if the notion of that seems impossible.

That said, I am still aching “why?” Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?

?

Thanksgiving

All my clothes smell like a campfire because last weekend we burned some wood in the fireplace and I guess the flue wasn’t working all that well. It’s kind of a dirty, but great smell. I’m not sure they appreciate it at my office, although, kindly, nobody has said anything.

In the morning, when I drive to work, the sunrise over the ocean is a deep autumn orange. It’s like a Halloween sunrise and the water is black so the combination is very beautiful and seasonal. In the marina, as I go over the bridge, the dozen or so small sailboats are black also which lends an ominous but exciting feel to the whole scene.

I work at a place that’s on a lot of land. I appreciate the space and the greenery very much. It’s been good to me.

Strawberries

It’s Sunday. It’s like spring, but it’s not hot - it’s fall. We are still wearing summer clothes. This morning I took a stem off a strawberry plant and stuck it in another vase with soil. Sometimes time stands perfectly still, and I am thankful for it.

applesauce

1 bag apples – any kind
cinnamon
nutmeg
water

Peel and core the apples. Cube the remains and place in large boiling pot. Put two fingers of water into the pot. Add a generous amount of cinnamon and less nutmeg. Boil on medium heat for an hour or until the sauce is quite smooth. You can use a whisk or a fork to help the process along once the apples are soft. Add more water if necessary, or to obtain the consistency you desire. The cooked apples get very sweet and no sugar is necessary. If you have pears, add them to the mix also, peeled and cored.

Serve with grilled pork chops or alone as a delicious snack. :)

10.03.2012

For my birthday, we went to an amazing place on the beach in North Carolina. The hotel room had a huge bay window that slid wide open all night. From the window, was a great view of the Atlantic Ocean. The ocean was the color of steel green. The hotel was also awesome because the floor was tiled, nice big clean stone colored tiles. The place was so simple and so clean and the ocean blew the salty air through the window all night.

Giving People the Help We Need

A lot of times when people go psychotic, even those closest to them, do not recognize that something is very wrong.

I think this is because psychosis lingers in that space between the very material world and genius. Psychotic people mutter the strangest things which can sound like either profound truths, or like they are channeling something very high, whereas in truth, they are quite literally losing their minds.

Really smart people or people experimenting with yoga or meditation can go psychotic, if they’ve experienced tremendous loss or sorrow, or if they are very very stressed out, or if they are drinking too much and/or doing drugs. Some people go psychotic, because I guess, they have a genetic disposition for it.

But always, when someone goes psychotic, their finely tuned brain gets screwed up in a very deep and profound way.

You can go psychotic and hurt no one but yourself. Like thinking you can fly and taking a dive off a building or throwing all your belongings in the trash, stripping off your clothes, and taking a naked walk down a highway. Or you can kill yourself because at that moment you are convinced it is the only and the right thing to do.

Or you can go psychotic and think you are the joker from Batman, or that you need to defend “the world” and walk into a mall and start shooting people.

But psychosis, once you’ve seen it, once or maybe twice, is recognizable. It is. You can see it in people’s eyes. You can hear it in what they are saying. There are signs and people don’t flip like a switch. It is a downward slope before something very tragic happens.

I hope somebody with a platform starts to educate the public more on this. Somebody on the news, hopefully. You know. You can call the cops on people if you think they are a threat to themselves or someone else. They can be psychiatrically evaluated. You can do it on your friends or your family members. You should. They can get medicated until they come out of it. You can save them, you can save yourself, and you can save innocent people, who have nothing to do with whatever craziness is going through the psychotic person’s mind. It is very very sad. I am so sorry for everyone.

buttercup

Last night I dreamed I was superman and there was this girl that I was resuscitating, bringing back to life. I thought, “she can help me.” There was some kind of chaos going on around us and I had to stop it.